She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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