is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Drunk is a universal language darling
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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