Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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