To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
