I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Randomize