it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
