i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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