i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
