did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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