i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
