winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
