Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
operation harelip BJ is a go
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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