I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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