summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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