Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
