grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
