Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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