You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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