I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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