If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
