...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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