i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
i need to put some appletini on your dick
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
