does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
