ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
