I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
