Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
