that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
naw, they were rude, not me.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.