I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
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Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
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i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.