it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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