So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
i need some magic done to my vagina
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
