Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I think your dad took our porno
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
