She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Randomize
