i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
