Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
