I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
