she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
