Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
