he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
