so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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