If i come over, it means nothing
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
