My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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