i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
