i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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