If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
