omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
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Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
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So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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