Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
