Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
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