It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
