He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
