Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
