Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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