win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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