my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
