shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
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I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize