Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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