This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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