yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
