Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
