You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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