So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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