Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
He has the fingertips of a God
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