I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
