The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
