He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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